she's crafty

In sync with the shift from margaritas to mojitos, our thoughts took turn to a more philanthropic focus. Perhaps it was the tequila talking, but Tara and I both felt compelled to find some way contribute back to our bar community.

The answer came to us in shape of…pornographic origami napkin ring holders.

Come on now, it isn’t exactly the most uncommon of subjects. Plenty of you are well aware of my views regarding this untapped, environmentally friendly art form. It's humble Brooklyn beginnings is a whole different story that I’m certain your sick of hearing. What was unusual about this instance was that the subject came up in conjunction with a conversation related to Mother’s Day...

Our bartender had no clue what to buy.

“I ALWAYS make something,” explained Tara in her prim Martha Stewart tone.
“Last year it was candles, the year before soap. The year before that, I was taking pottery classes…”

Her list of DIY crafts were endless.
If it had been on HGTV, this girl had done it.
My eyes started rolling towards the sky.

“Uhh…I don't think so,” said Steve. “Candle making? Way too messy. Besides, I can’t imagine my mother being impressed with her son’s soap making skills.”

“What about paint-by-numbers?” I offered. "Shrinky-dinks maybe?"

Steve shook his head and headed for the other end of the bar.
"I don't do crafts," he said.

“I know!" I shouted, "Pornographic origami napkin ring holders!”

Steve stopped dead in his tracks. I got him.

“It’s amazing how cool naked people can look all folded up into squares,” I continued.
“And on the dinner table, wrapped around a nice cloth napkin, you can’t even tell what they're doing!
I gave my grandmother a set last year and she hasn't a clue!”

“Now this,” said Steve, “Might be a little more my speed.”

Even Tara was interested. “Do they HAVE to be pornographic?” she asked. “Or can I make mine with flowers or something?”

"You can make them with that damn pink oxford shirt if you like," I assured her. "I can show you the “G” rated version."

The pornography was all in the paper, not in the form of the folds.

“Is it difficult?” they both wanted to know.

Of course not! Good Lord, if I can do it anyone can. It is just a little time consuming. You’re forever folding paper. And as far as your fingernails…forget about that manicure. Paper and polish don’t seem to mix.

"Is it messy?" was the next question.

Not at all, I assured them.
In fact you could do it all, right here on top of this….bar!

And that’s when the liquored-up light bulb lit up. We were going to host the first Bedrock Billiards Craft Night and assist all of its patrons in creating, their own make-it-yourself, Mother’s Day gifts!

Damn, man…how cool is that?

We could add a whole new dimension to Monday nite's Ladies' Nite. Maybe we can even turn it into a regular event. We’ll teach the world naughty knitting, paper mache pasties, and dirty decoupage....maybe...

So at any rate, the fun starts tonight…at around 7…If you’re in Adams Morgan and looking for something to do with those old stacks of Playboy magazines - where they came from, no questions asked -- you should certainly stop by. BYOP