indecent proposal

Yesterday a boy asked me to marry him. I could be wrong,
but I think this marks my very first marriage proposal.

I was in Georgetown on M Street.
He was in a van stuck in stop and go traffic.

He's a businessman of sorts.
He and his partner were on the job, selling a truckload of stereo speakers.
I was walking along on the sidewalk when their van pulled up beside me.

He said, "Hey! Would you like to buy a pair of speakers?"

"No, thank you." I said.

"Okay," he said. "Will you marry me then?"

Just like that, he asked me!

"No, thank you." I said and I kept walking.
I thought it best that I play hard to get.

So when the got up to the stoplight, he asked me again, just be certain.

He was a little rough around the edges but kind of cute.
Probably a little too young for me and not really my type, but...

"Does it come with a free pair of speakers?" I asked.

The light went green and his partner hit the pedal.
He was gone before I got an answer.

I wonder if he says that to all the girls.
It's really quite a risky tactic if all he's trying to do is sell a cheap set of speakers.

I wondered what would have happened had I said yes?
What if I was one of those girls going through that "biological-clock-ticking" crisis?
Damn, man he'd really be in a jam.

One day he wakes up without a care in the world except to sell stolen stereo speakers,
and the next he's dealing with me.
Lucky for him, I said the common sense to say no.

Ironically, my first proposal just happened to coincide with Sandie and Fred's 31st anniversary.
They, by the way, celebrated in style, dining at a BBQ hut in Manassas...

I am embarrassed to admit that despite the fact that I've known them for 29 years
and lived with them for more than half, that this was the first night that I had ever looked through
my parent's wedding album.

I knew nothing of their engagement, nothing of their wedding...
Only that they had met in 8th grade and with the exception of Sandie's brief interest in a man named Flutter, had been together ever since. That alone to me was so unbelievable; I guess I never bothered to dig deeper.

So there I am looking at pictures...and they were pretty cool. Fred, for the record, was quite the little hottie. I had always thought my mother's "Tom Cruise" reference was slightly biased, but looking back 31 years, I can see it...with that and his Air Force thing they had that little "Top Gun" thing going on.

"You two were quite the couple," I told them. "So tell me, Dad, how did you propose?"

Fred looked up from the television.

"Hmm?" he asked.

Sandie started laughing.

"Oh it was very romantic," she said. "It was in the basement of my house. He probably doesn't remember much. I picked him up from work he needed my ID card so that he could buy the ring at the BX. We had to make a mad dash there before it closed. And then we came home, and he proposed to me in the basement."

"Dad, did you get down on one knee? What did you say?
Did you have to ask ole Tom Hanford's permission?" I asked.

"Ummmm...I don't think sooooo."

Mom saved him.

"I think he might have. Look at him! He doesn't remember.
One person who wasn't at all pleased though, was your father's mother."

"So Dad, you get off from work you were home from school, working construction that summer, right? You get off work, run to the store, buy a ring, propose to your girlfriend of 10 years, she says 'yes' and then go home. All you want to do is go to bed and get a good night's sleep, but you have to face the wrath of your parents?" I asked. "What did you tell them? Were you scared? Did they ground you?"

"I wasn't scared," Fred replied. "I had been dating your mother forever and it was just time."

Well that, at least, he remembered.

"It might not sound at all romantic," Sandie told me.
"But it was good. And the good thing is, is that it worked."

And indeed it has, quite beautifully.

So then I thought, what IF I had said "yes" to stereo speaker boy?
What if we had run off into the sunset right then and there and got married?

Twenty-nine years later, if his daughter asked him about his proposal,
I wonder just what he would say...

"I got a wife, and she got a good set of speakers."

I wonder which would have lasted longer.